Let's Be Successful Again!

Redundancy - fresh slate or personal tragedy?

Last weekend I was speaking to an audience at The Vitality Show and had the opportunity to meet with one or two people afterwards to hear more about their situation and their dreams for the future.

It may seem strange but this was the first time since the start of the recession that I had met anyone who actually lost their job as a direct result of the economic shenanigans.

Two women stood out in particular. One was finding it very tough emotionally and I really felt for her. When you lose a job you love, as she did, you feel the loss more greatly. You not only have to find something else in a highly competitive market but your old job gave you a sense of meaning which being unemployed lacks.

The other woman was seeing her situation as a great opportunity to start a business, something she had dreamt of for years.

Clearly, everyone's situation is different so it is hard to compare these two women, both brave in their own way.

But I did start thinking - what part does mindset play in how you handle redundancy? Do some people struggle more because their circumstances are that much more difficult or do some people create an opportunity because they really do find positives in what happens to them, no matter how difficult the situation might be?

I have never been made redundant although there have been times when I worried I would lose my business and had very little work to keep me busy. At those times it was hard to stay positive and make the most of my free time (something there is very little of right now!).

If you are between jobs right now or have experiences of redundancy to share I would love to hear about them. How did you or how are you coping? And do you see it as a tragedy or an opportunity? Please be honest - it will help other readers.

I've started...but have I finished?

If you want to succeed you need to finish what you start. But often we lose motivation to finish tasks that are important, interesting, enjoyable, valuable and vital to our success.

Why does this happen?

According to Steve Levinson and Pete Greider, authors of "Following Through - A revolutionary new model for finishing whatever you start" the human brain is wired in such a way that it is difficult for us to finish certain projects.

We convince ourselves that we SHOULD be able to finish what we start because the justifications are so good e.g. we should go to the gym because it's so good for us; we should finish that report because we promised it would be done by tomorrow, we should make that phone call because it's the most important item on the "to do" list.

However, motivation is much more complicated than that. The brain is wired to be more convinced by immediate pay off. But we try to motivate ourselves using reasoning which pays off tomorrow, next week, next month or even in 20 years rather than today. Not surprisingly, the short term, immediate pay off wins out (e.g. we know we should go to the gym but our favourite TV programme is on now so we stay home to watch that. The pay off of going to the gym comes in 90 minutes. The programme is on now. Now is more powerful).  

What now?
It is possible to use the brain's wiring to help us follow through…but it may mean doing the right thing for the "wrong" reasons. 

1. Willpower Leveraging
We all have a little willpower, but probably less than we think. Use what you have to greatest effect by putting yourself in a position that makes it difficult to do the "wrong" thing. E.g. ask a colleague to check in on you at the end of the day to ensure you have done a particular task. If you are the kind of person who doesn't like to look bad in front of others, this will motivate you to finish the project.

2. Create Compelling Reasons
Sometimes the "right" reason to do something isn't the most motivating reason. So, while the right reason to keep your promise and hand that report in on time is that you said you would, a more compelling reason might be that when you meet a deadline you buy something nice for yourself! Design a strategy that will motivate you, even if you end up doing the "right" thing for the "wrong" reason.

3. Right Before Wrong
E.g. If you really want ice cream but you know you should have carrot sticks have the carrot sticks first. If you still want the ice cream afterwards that's fine. However you might find you don't want it after all. Adapt this analogy to your working life!

4. Strike While The Iron Is Hot
When you have the thought, take the action. E.g. you suddenly remember to make that important phone call. Instead of delaying, do it NOW while the iron is hot!

What have you started but haven't finished? Pick one of these strategies to motivate yourself and let me know how you got on. 

Preparing to be vital

Today I was preparing a talk I will be giving this weekend at The Vitality Show. My theme is Bravery. It seems to me that those who achieve something special in their lives have faced and fought their fears. It really is like a battle. And those who win out demonstrate great bravery. 

If you think I am over-exaggerating, consider this. Most people (maybe you will be honest enough to admit this applies to you!) have aspects of their lives which they tolerate. Some even have aspects of their lives that they hate. I spent many years doing a job I hated, a job which brought me regularly to tears. If it was easy to overcome fear, people would change their lives all the time. But they don't.

And why do we put up with a life that is less than fabulous? Because of fear.

Alright, maybe we don't have complete freedom of choice. We have duties towards our families, towards our society and to uphold our moral code. But is that really what stops you from making a big change in your life? I doubt it. Having coached hundreds of people over the last decade, I have found that most of the excuses given for "putting up" with situations are just fear in disguise.

So, it takes real bravery to confront those fears and take a big, bold action. And even when you confront it, fear doesn't just go away. It puts up a fight. Months after leaving my BBC job and starting my own business I still found myself one day running to the post office and running back to my home office, filled with guilt about stepping away from my desk during working hours. But who would have been angry with me, given that I work for myself? In my mind I heard a voice loud and clear telling me that posting a letter (a work-related letter no less) was skiving because I wasn't staring at my computer screen or using the phone.

It took a good 6 months for me to get used to the fact that the rules of my life had changed...that I had changed them by taking a big, bold action. On occasion I still hear that voice - when I play with my daughter on a Wednesday afternoon, when I take a full hour for lunch, when I shop for groceries on a Monday morning. Fear can camouflage itself well, appearing to be your sensible voice, your work ethic, your commitment to your job, so don't be fooled.

Be brave....And if you think you have a really good reason for not changing something about your life that you hate, let me know!

For more information about The Vitality Show and my session click here.

Your best boss...ever!

As the new series of The Apprentice comes to our screens in the UK, I am thinking about the best and worst bosses I have ever had.

Let's start with your best boss- what qualities did they have? What qualities did they bring out in you?

My best boss was my station manager at BBC Radio Newcastle, the late Tony Fish. He genuinely had an open door and an open mind to go with it.  When I wanted to change a long-standing (and incredibly boring) quiz on the programme I was producing, he told me to go for it, measure the kinds of responses we were getting and assess whether the experiment had worked after 6 weeks.

Working at the BBC then was a pleasure. I really felt I was working with friends and going to the production office every day was a joy. I am sure that was because of the tone Tony set.

Please name and fame your best boss here and explain what was so special about them. We tend to focus so much on not being like our worst boss that we forget the bosses that we do want to emulate! Let's change that now.

What is charisma?

Occasionally I meet people who seem to inspire others. They can be outgoing and full of energy. But not always. They can be articulate and funny. But sometimes not. They can be good-looking and have a great smile. But it isn't necessary.

Some people just have an energy about them which makes you want to be around them. They make you feel good about yourself and make you want to go the extra mile. It is a great quality in a leader and, I suspect, is behind the success of many entrepreneurs.

Recently I have met three people who seem to have this quality by the bucket load and yet they are all very different from each other. Despite hard times they are all doing well, creating interesting opportunities for themselves and others and enjoying their lives. Charisma seems to be working for them.

But what is it? If you could bottle charisma, what would the ingredients label read? And who do you think oozes it?

Mass Media Massacre

People often ask my advice about marketing themselves in the media as I was a journalist for many years and now regularly write for magazines and newspapers and appear on radio.

It can be a great way to raise your profile. But it may not be an easy ride. Most journalists won't promote you to help you grow your business - they are looking for a story. So you need to have one. Being known as an expert in a particular field will help - they will call you to comment on stories rather than being the subject matter of the story itself.

Here are some other tips -

Three is the magic number -

Most interviews with journalists, particularly on TV or radio, are short. And even though a newspaper journalist may talk to you for half an hour, they are likely to choose only two or three direct quotes from you to use in their feature. When preparing for an interview, think ahead about what your 3 key points are. If you have too much to say, your message will be lost. When answering questions ensure that your three key messages are coming across clearly through your answers. This does not mean you ignore the question and repeat, ad nausium, your three prepared statements. This is very frustrating for listeners, viewers and readers and makes you sound as though you are avoiding questions. However, it is easy to get distracted by the interviewers questions and find you have not said any of the things you wanted to say.

Of course, this can be applied to any situation where you are expected to present ideas or answer questions e.g. a meeting, presentation or job interview. In preparation, think about the three key messages (no more) that you want to communicate and ensure that these are made clearly where possible.

Only say what you can justify -

Difficult one this! We've all heard politicians trying to justify a policy or a decision which, clearly, does not sit well with them. Privately they may not feel it is justifiable, but they are holding the party line and have to say they support the decision.

There may be instances where you have to back a plan which you privately do not think is justifiable in the media. My tip is to find the part of the decision which you do genuinely support and focus on that in your interviews. The decision itself may not sit well with you but the need to pull together and present a united front may be very important to you. You may not agree with the decision but you may agree with the way the decision was made or may respect the person who made it.

A good journalist will be able to see through you if you pretend to defend the indefensible. So defend the defensible instead.
This applies outside of media interactions too. "Being fake" is a dangerous path and leads to distrust. But there may be times where it important to stand together with colleagues. Apply the same approach here as you would if you were talking about it on the radio.

Tone of voice -

The tone you adopt is important. Even the most exciting development can be an audience turn-off if you sound bored. This doesn't only apply when doing radio or TV interviews. A print journalist will also be influenced by your tone of voice.

Try this: tape your voice reading something from a newspaper and listen back. How much intonation is there? Could you understand the meaning of what you were reading or was it just words stuck together? If you heard someone speak like that, would you think what they had to say was interesting?

Now try again, this time really "selling" the story. Chances are, even if you feel you were going over the top it won't sound like that when you listen back to it.

Whether you are being interviewed by a journalist or giving a talk, speaking up in a meeting or trying to get a promotion, remember your tone of voice. The words you say matter. But equally important is HOW you say it.

If you've been featured in the media and have tips to share (or horror stories) let us know! Do you think that the media is a good way to get exposure for your business or is it a dangerous game to play?

No wriggle room?

Tough times demand tough decisions - decisions that entail some risk. When those of us who are relatively cautious take "risks" we always prepare a back up plan, a safety net which means that we won't actually crash and burn if our decision turns out to be mistaken.

However, successful people often "burn their bridges". They don't allow themselves a way back because they know if they can wriggle out of it they probably will.

Let's take the example of an aspiring actor. His parents encourage him to train as an accountant whilst pursuing acting "just in case". Inevitably, with accounting to fall back on, his need to achieve is lessened, he lives a comfortable life which he would have to sacrifice in order to really go for an acting career and all his friends are accountants meaning his network are cautious about a crazy acting career too. 

It is no surprise that he becomes a full time accountant (just as his parents secretly hoped). And, of course, he will say to himself "Just as well I had accounting to fall back on otherwise I'd be living in a garret by now". 

My view is that too great a safety net is an obstacle to success not an enabler. Read the autobiographies of many successful entrepreneurs and they will regale you with stories of how they put everything on the line, how they were nearly down to their last pennies and how it paid off in the end.

There are times to be careful and considered. But there are also times to go for it with gusto and burn your bridges behind you.

How do you choose which is which? I'd love your views.

Creating financial advantage

Advocates for creativity in business are often mistaken for airy-fairy artistes without any concept of the reality of business. It is as though creativity is way over here on the left and business is far, far away on the right.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Without creativity, businesses die. John Harvey-Jones, the troubleshooter himself (and former chairman of ICI), wrote in his book “Making It Happen – reflections on leadership”:  

"I believe that in deciding where you would like to be, as opposed to where you are probably going to end up, you need a great deal of discussion and a great deal of development of new thinking and new processes. The idea of doing this through the planning department or through a paper on strategy presented to the board seems to me to be quite inadequate. The process should involve large amounts of time and constant discussion with those involved lower down the line who actually execute the strategies on which the whole picture relies. This sort of circular debate, frequently widening out to involve others within and without the company, should go on until all are satisfied that the result will be as good as they are going to get".

Time and good, creative thinking put in at an early stage saves much wastage of time and money later on, he concludes.

This is a compelling argument from a legitimate source. But the critics of creativity in business aren't satisfied. They concede that creativity has its place. One must think creatively about the overall business strategy, the development of new products and services and marketing and advertising campaigns. But when it comes to the everyday running of the business, the decisions that are made daily and weekly, there really isn't time for creativity. You just have to act. Now.

I argue, however, that every poor decision, even the little ones, costs your business money. Making snap decisions based on accepted ways of doing things does not solve problems effectively. They come back to bite you.

Here are some little, expensive, problems that many companies struggle to solve effectively:

• High staff turnover: Every time your company loses a manager it costs your business £7000.
• Workplace conflict: This costs UK business £33 billion every year (this comprises not only amounts paid in legal fees but also the damage incurred by businesses as a consequence of those disputes – in fact the cost of this damage (£27bn) far outweighs the legal fees (£6bn).
• Health and safety: Around 40 million working days are lost to business in the UK every year due to injuries at work.
• Problems with IT: 62 per cent of UK companies experienced a security incident last year (e.g. a computer virus), with the average cost of a company's worst incident standing at £12,000.

The big assumption that many companies make is that these problems are unavoidable, a fact of life, just the cost of running a business. But what if your company could resolve just one of these problems? What if between you, you could generate a solution?

John Harvey-Jones loved problems like this: 

"When I have mentally decided that something cannot be done, for what appears to be a very good reason, I test that apparent constraint, hopefully to destruction”.

Creative thinking can be applied to these kinds of every day challenges – the computers crash, there's an on-going row in the accounts department, someone tripped on a loose carpet, all your best managers seem to join other companies – as well as the big, glamorous problems.

And the results can be measured in pounds and pence.

Do you agree? Or do you think that creative thinking wastes a lot of time when many solutions are obvious?

Does feedback have value?

Coaches like myself use feedback a lot. We use 360 degree tools to gather feedback for our clients about their behaviours from peers, direct reports, line managers and customers. We provide feedback during 1-2-1 coaching sessions and workshops, sharing our observations about the person or people we are working with. We ask for feedback to establish how we are doing and what we could do better in our work.

But is feedback over-rated? Do we actually benefit from it? Does it actually do what it is meant to do?

Why do we value receiving feedback so much?

There are many justifications for asking for feedback. Probably the main one is that we feel we aren’t the best judge of our own effectiveness. By gathering a selection of observations from other people we get a more rounded picture which helps us assess areas of strength and weakness. 

However, what motivates us to get feedback might really be something else. Perhaps we are seeking recognition. Getting feedback is a legitimate way to pin people down and get them to acknowledge who you are and what you do. Most of us appreciate that.

Also, we might lack faith in our own judgement. We may only value ourselves if other people value us. So we are continually seeking others’ opinions in order to feel valid.

And we may also feel pressure to be seen to be asking for feedback. Being open to hearing what other people think of you is valued in most organisations. Arguing that you are not interested can damage your reputation.

Is feedback useful?

Ultimately that depends on what you do with it!

One approach I have seen many times is to gather feedback, capture the responses and stick them in a file. Equally ineffective is to continually change your style based on all the feedback responses. In that case you lose a sense of who you really are and try to do the impossible – please everyone.

So how can you use feedback effectively?

The first thing to remember about feedback is that no one individual’s view of you is necessarily more accurate than anyone else’s (or your own). Feedback works when it averages out people’s subjective views, casting a light on some general themes.

If 35 people complete a feedback questionnaire and one person says you could smile more, 25 people say they like your smile and the rest don’t mention anything about it, it is important that you see that one comment in context. You can’t please everyone all of the time.

Secondly, some comments sting. This might be because someone has identified something you always thought to be true but hoped no one else had noticed. If you suspect this to be the case, you’ve been rumbled and it is time to do something about it.

But sometimes what people say about you isn't so much about you as about them.

A comment like “She’s a bit full of herself” may imply you are egotistical. It may also imply that the individual who made the comment is jealous of your confident manner. It may be because the other person assumes for their own personal reasons that modesty is preferable to confidence. It may also be transference – they see in you a trait which is actually one of their own. If any of these is the case it would be self-defeating to try to think less of yourself than you do.

Finally, although a comment may be accurate, you may choose not to address it yourself. This may be because other issues in the feedback are more pressing. It may also be that no matter how hard you work at that weakness, it will never really become a strength. An alternative approach might be to delegate tasks that are not natural strengths for you to someone for whom they are. In return you may take on more tasks that fit your particular talents.

That is not to say you never stretch yourself. It is good for us to develop ourselves, to work on areas we find challenging, to continually upgrade our behaviours. But you may decide that working on some weaknesses is not the best use of your time.

So where does that leave us?

To be honest, pretty much back where we started. If you were seeking feedback in order to get clarity about what you need to change about yourself, you may be disappointed to find you are left with more questions than answers.

Feedback is not a way to abdicate responsibility for self-assessment. In the end there are always questions about the validity of the feedback you receive. That is not to say that you shouldn’t bother with feedback. Such information does give you some useful data, food for thought and often a well deserved pat on the back. But that’s not the end of the process.

Do you find feedback useful or have you decided to trust your own judgement from now on? I'd love to hear your views.

Can you be too nice to be successful?

Reading a recent copy of Harvard Business Review I was struck by an article on "niceness". Research has shown that we tend to assume that nice people are rather dim and nastier people are more intellectually gifted. 

This came as no surprise to me as I have often felt that sweet natured, gentle, considerate people are passed over in favour of those who criticise, undermine and regularly show their temper.

Take a typical meeting, for instance. Anyone who finds a flaw in an idea (unless it was an idea suggested by the boss) gets brownie points, whilst anyone who says "I like it" is considered to lack critical thinking skills.

If you have ever been told "Your problem is that you are too nice" will know how frustrating that particular criticism is. The implication is that if you are too nice you must be neglecting other character traits such as good judgementt, or that you are someone who is uncomfortable with conflict and always seeks consensus. 

This does not need to be the case. For me, "nice" means emotionally intelligent, having the ability to adapt to the people around you, find a bond, make a connection. It means offering praise and acknowledgement when it is due and speaking your mind, whether that be to highlight a flaw in an idea or the brilliance of an idea. 

Clearly, there is a problem if niceness is simply a fear-based response to opposing opinions. But where it simply demonstrates mastery of fundamental self-awareness and awareness of the needs of others, it is about time we applauded and celebrated it. 

Agree? Disagree? I love differences of opinion so share your thoughts here!